Reacting vs. Responding

Aloha everyone!

From Taoist traditions to the teachings of my own Hawai'ian people, much is written about Reacting vs. Responding. Is there a difference and what is that difference?

When we are faced with a stimulus or situation, we either react or respond. Is one better, can we control which we choose to use? Generally speaking, a response is based on our present situation, a reaction delves deeper into ourselves and is base on our histories.

It is simpler in the short term to react to things but it is healthier to your spirit to learn to respond. It is important to know that a response is never repeated. How can this be? As some of you know, one of the key points to living an Aloha Life is Now is the Moment of Power. Everything that happens to all of us is new and current. If we are living in the now no event in our life will be duplicated. When you react to a situation, you are reacting to past events, response happens in the now.

All of us both react and respond. Some of us are more inclined to be responsive to most situations whereas others of us are more inclined to be reactive. An interesting exercise is to think of the people you know and classify them (without judgments) as reactive or responsive. Be sure to include yourself in one classification or the other.

The first time I did this exercise myself, I felt that I, and most of the people I know, have a tendency to be reactive. I started to think about the things around me that illicited the same reactions over and over. I started to recognize patterns that truthfully, were just becoming automatic for me. Once I was able to isolate these reactions and the stimuli that caused them, I was able to focus on changing that pattern.

When we react to situations, we become predictable and boring. Think back to the the reactionary patterns you have. It is important to know that if you can identify these reactions, so can everyone else around you. One of the things that all of us as humans share is the desire for power. Unfortunately, many of us strive to have power over others. When we react to situations, we allow for others to identify our patterns and to manipulate our reactions to their benefit or simply, we give them power. By responding to stimuli, we take away the power others could wield and develop it into a power over our own choices.

In understanding the difference between reactions and responses, and identifying what happens when we choose to exercise either, you can begin to see that responding gives us more personal power and ultimately, more happiness.

Alika